10 Weird Simulation Games
1. Soda Drinker Pro (2012)
Developer: Soda Drinker Pro
Objective: Roam a variety of levels while drinking soda.
Skill Learned: Sucking and angering New York City's mayor.
Where To Get It: Soda Drinker Pro
Forget about gunning down enemies and saving the world. This video game is all about downing cold beverages in exotic locations. As if the premise of Soda Drinker Pro isn't enough, what's even crazier is the amount of attention its gotten from the gaming community and the press. SDP has been featured on big time video gaming sites like Game Informer, Kotaku and Giant Bomb. The self-proclaimed "first person soda" was also a big hit at this year's past Penny Arcade Expo where gamers all clamored to test out the game. It's free to play by the way so head over to their site and take in as many empty calories as you want without worrying about turning into the Fat Princess.
Objective: Roam a variety of levels while drinking soda.
Skill Learned: Sucking and angering New York City's mayor.
Where To Get It: Soda Drinker Pro
Forget about gunning down enemies and saving the world. This video game is all about downing cold beverages in exotic locations. As if the premise of Soda Drinker Pro isn't enough, what's even crazier is the amount of attention its gotten from the gaming community and the press. SDP has been featured on big time video gaming sites like Game Informer, Kotaku and Giant Bomb. The self-proclaimed "first person soda" was also a big hit at this year's past Penny Arcade Expo where gamers all clamored to test out the game. It's free to play by the way so head over to their site and take in as many empty calories as you want without worrying about turning into the Fat Princess.
2. Desert Bus (1995)
Developer: Absolute Entertainment
Objective: Drive safely across a desert from Arizona to Nevada.
Skill Learned: The patience of a saint.
Where To Get It: desertbus-game.org
Created by the comedic duo Penn & Teller, Desert Bus was a gag game that put players in the drivers seat of a bus going 45mph, non-stop from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada in real time. To finish the game, you'd have to sit for about eight hours through barren desert wilderness and you're unable to pause the game. If you're thinking of just sitting the controller down and letting the game do its thing, think again. The bus automatically veers to the right and if you go off the road, you get towed back to Arizona in real-time.
Objective: Drive safely across a desert from Arizona to Nevada.
Skill Learned: The patience of a saint.
Where To Get It: desertbus-game.org
Created by the comedic duo Penn & Teller, Desert Bus was a gag game that put players in the drivers seat of a bus going 45mph, non-stop from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada in real time. To finish the game, you'd have to sit for about eight hours through barren desert wilderness and you're unable to pause the game. If you're thinking of just sitting the controller down and letting the game do its thing, think again. The bus automatically veers to the right and if you go off the road, you get towed back to Arizona in real-time.
3. Farming Simulator 2013 (2012)
Developer: Giants Software
Objective: E-i-e-i-o your ass off.
Skill Learned: How to live off the land and one day have a Super Bowl commercial done in your honor.
Where To Get It: Giants Software
Think about Farming Simulator as Harvest Moon on super steroids. There's nothing kiddie about this simulator as you have to make serious decisions on how to best grow your crops. From picking out top-of-the-line tractors and sorting equipment to setting prices fair enough to keep your farming business alive, Farming Simulator 2013packed in enough realism to make it the best selling video game of 2012. We don't know who exactly is playing it but there is a good chance that the person sitting right next to you has a killer virtual farm.
Objective: E-i-e-i-o your ass off.
Skill Learned: How to live off the land and one day have a Super Bowl commercial done in your honor.
Where To Get It: Giants Software
Think about Farming Simulator as Harvest Moon on super steroids. There's nothing kiddie about this simulator as you have to make serious decisions on how to best grow your crops. From picking out top-of-the-line tractors and sorting equipment to setting prices fair enough to keep your farming business alive, Farming Simulator 2013packed in enough realism to make it the best selling video game of 2012. We don't know who exactly is playing it but there is a good chance that the person sitting right next to you has a killer virtual farm.
4. Love Plus (2009)
Developer: Konami
Objective: Wife up a beautiful girl that doesn't really exist.
Skill Learned: How to creep out real women.
Where To Get It: Play Asia
Love Plus has been around for a 12 years but that hasn't stopped the dating simulator from connecting many lonely Japanese nerds with virtual hotties looking for love. The portable game gained an incredible level of notoriety after a man decided to marry his Love Plus boo and have a real-life wedding ceremony.
Objective: Wife up a beautiful girl that doesn't really exist.
Skill Learned: How to creep out real women.
Where To Get It: Play Asia
Love Plus has been around for a 12 years but that hasn't stopped the dating simulator from connecting many lonely Japanese nerds with virtual hotties looking for love. The portable game gained an incredible level of notoriety after a man decided to marry his Love Plus boo and have a real-life wedding ceremony.
5. Prison Tycoon 4: SuperMax (2008)
Developer: ValuSoft
Objective: Run a privately owned prison.
Skill Learned: Basic dictator/executive skills
Where To Get It: Steam
EA's Sim City is legendary for its attention to detail and hot on its heels is Prison Tycoon 4 which challenges players to build and maintain a virtual prison. Depending on how you design the washrooms, cafeteria's, etc. will dictate how prisoners will behave. And if you're wondering if there are shankings and riots, the answer is yes. If you're twisted enough to want to build your own version of Oz's Emerald City, Prison Tycoon 4: Super Max has everything needed to fulfill any cell block fantasy.
Objective: Run a privately owned prison.
Skill Learned: Basic dictator/executive skills
Where To Get It: Steam
EA's Sim City is legendary for its attention to detail and hot on its heels is Prison Tycoon 4 which challenges players to build and maintain a virtual prison. Depending on how you design the washrooms, cafeteria's, etc. will dictate how prisoners will behave. And if you're wondering if there are shankings and riots, the answer is yes. If you're twisted enough to want to build your own version of Oz's Emerald City, Prison Tycoon 4: Super Max has everything needed to fulfill any cell block fantasy.
6. Cart Life (2013)
Developer: Richard Hofmeier
Objective: Own and operate a street vending cart.
Skill Learned: Faking a sanitary food environment
Where To Get It: richardhofmeier.com
Here is a creative way to show what the life of street vendors are like. In Cart Life gamers are tasked with selling hot dogs, newspapers, bagels and all sorts of on-the-go products in a small town. Not only must you manage your cart, you have to manage your life outside of business hours as well. The black and white, retro theme adds a bit of low fidelity appeal while the storyline keeps it from being just another gag game.
Objective: Own and operate a street vending cart.
Skill Learned: Faking a sanitary food environment
Where To Get It: richardhofmeier.com
Here is a creative way to show what the life of street vendors are like. In Cart Life gamers are tasked with selling hot dogs, newspapers, bagels and all sorts of on-the-go products in a small town. Not only must you manage your cart, you have to manage your life outside of business hours as well. The black and white, retro theme adds a bit of low fidelity appeal while the storyline keeps it from being just another gag game.
7. RapeLay (2006)
Developer: Illusion Soft
Objective: Exactly what you think.
Skill Learned: How to become a worlthless degenerate.
Where To Get It: Don't worry about it.
Banned pretty much everywhere, RapeLay still stands as one of the most disturbing simulation video games on the planet. Gamers play a rapist that stalks and attacks women. More sickening is the bizarre twist of getting a victim pregnant and causing her to commit suicide.
Objective: Exactly what you think.
Skill Learned: How to become a worlthless degenerate.
Where To Get It: Don't worry about it.
Banned pretty much everywhere, RapeLay still stands as one of the most disturbing simulation video games on the planet. Gamers play a rapist that stalks and attacks women. More sickening is the bizarre twist of getting a victim pregnant and causing her to commit suicide.
8. Dive To The Titanic (2012)
Developer: Excalibur Publishing
Objective: Explore the underwater seas to check out the famed Titanic cruise ship.
Skill Learned: Seeing through James Cameron's lies.
Where To Get It: Excalibur Publishing
Surprisingly there hasn't been a video game that lets you pilot the legendary Titanic luxury liner but there is one that lets you Dive To The Titanic and look for underwater treasure and take photos of artifacts. If that's not enough to satisfy your sense of adventure, there is also the ability to upgrade your submarine. Mind blown, socks knocked off.
Objective: Explore the underwater seas to check out the famed Titanic cruise ship.
Skill Learned: Seeing through James Cameron's lies.
Where To Get It: Excalibur Publishing
Surprisingly there hasn't been a video game that lets you pilot the legendary Titanic luxury liner but there is one that lets you Dive To The Titanic and look for underwater treasure and take photos of artifacts. If that's not enough to satisfy your sense of adventure, there is also the ability to upgrade your submarine. Mind blown, socks knocked off.
9. Demolition Company (2010)
Developer: Giants Software
Objective: Tear ish up.
Skill Learned: Ideas for ways to get revenge on someone.
Where To Get It: Giants Software
Coming from the genius folks at Giants Software who brought us Farming Simulator, here is another simulator you'd never think you'd like until you've actually played it. In charge of a crew of demolitionists, gamers get to use pro-level equipment to make way for new construction by knocking down buildings and even blowing stuff up.
Objective: Tear ish up.
Skill Learned: Ideas for ways to get revenge on someone.
Where To Get It: Giants Software
Coming from the genius folks at Giants Software who brought us Farming Simulator, here is another simulator you'd never think you'd like until you've actually played it. In charge of a crew of demolitionists, gamers get to use pro-level equipment to make way for new construction by knocking down buildings and even blowing stuff up.
10. Surgeon Simulator (2013)
Developer: Bossa Studios Ltd
Objective: Cut up patients like a drunken sushi chef.
Skill Learned: Anger management
Where To Get It:
The developers of Surgeon Simulator put this wacky cut 'em up together in only a couple of days so don't expect cutting edge graphics. What you can expect is a nerve rattling simulator that will test your patience while you attempt to slice up your patient.
Objective: Cut up patients like a drunken sushi chef.
Skill Learned: Anger management
Where To Get It:
The developers of Surgeon Simulator put this wacky cut 'em up together in only a couple of days so don't expect cutting edge graphics. What you can expect is a nerve rattling simulator that will test your patience while you attempt to slice up your patient.
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